i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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