I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
