Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
