I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
