How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
