Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
