i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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