i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
