I've blown a few things in my day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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