It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
