Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
