she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
