hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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