Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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