Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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