There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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