Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
