shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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