Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
