How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
