Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
love makes seman taste better
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
