he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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