I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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