giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
