Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
