I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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