shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize