i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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