yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
