I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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