TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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