Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize