she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
