I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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