Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
