She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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