I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
