Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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