Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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