he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
