No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
