I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
