ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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