I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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