I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
