Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
