I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
nutella sex= disaster
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize