I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
