He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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