Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
