if i can run in heels then i can drive
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
