R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize