The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
