yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Two words: nipple clamps
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