I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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