Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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