just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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