Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
