white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
