It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
