i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
