We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
