And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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