please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
