I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize