If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
