please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
