I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
