I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
